The Boagworld Show S05E2

Web & Digital Advice

Digital and web advice from Headscape and the addled brain of Paul Boag... tell me more

Paul Boag Posted by: Paul Boag On Thursday, 24th January, 2013

Technological terror

This week on the world’s best podcast: responsive design turns out to be more complicated than we thought, we all get typographical and we revisit a post from the year 2000.

Season 5:
The estimated time to read this article is 34 minutes
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Paul Boag:
Hello and welcome to boagworld.com. The podcast although is evolved in designing, developing and running websites on a daily basis. I thought I’d bring it back for once.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
Did you like that? I haven’t said that for ages.

Marcus Lillington:
No, I’m completely confused for so many reasons.

Paul Boag:
Right. What – yeah, so let’s go through how unprepared we are for this podcast. Number one, you’ve no joke prepared?

Marcus Lillington:
No. But that’s normal.

Paul Boag:
Number two, you – yeah, number two you have no post prepared?

Marcus Lillington:
Correct. I blame you.

Paul Boag:
Why do you blame me?

Marcus Lillington:
Because I thought you got four together, I thought he has done four. I don’t need to do one. Then you say – then you said…

Paul Boag:
I was just preparing.

Marcus Lillington:
Well, I didn’t know. I blame you.

Paul Boag:
No. And then number three, we’re not actually together, are we today?

Marcus Lillington:
No, which is by far the weirdest thing. I’ve got the nasty lurgy, although I feel quite a lot better today, that I’m not going to describe because it would be too much detail. And basically Chris told me…

Paul Boag:
That’s too much detail by itself.

Marcus Lillington:
Chris said, stay away from the barn and it was like, all right then. Then I thought how are we going to…

Paul Boag:
That’s quite hurtful really, isn’t it?

Marcus Lillington:
Well, probably not really. I wouldn’t wish that on any one and I didn’t get it anywhere near as bad as some of my friends did. But yeah, it wasn’t nice. So, yes, so I…

Paul Boag:
So, we’re doing this – yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
Separately. I’m talking into a mic at my end. Paul is doing the same and we’re on the phone to each other listening to each other, so if it all sounds a bit, maybe a little bit not quite as flowing as usual, that’s why.

Paul Boag:
Yes. That we’ve already got little bit of kind of, oh, start-stop, oh who said what and when and that kind of thing. It’s already happening. But there you go.

Marcus Lillington:
But hopefully it sounds better…

Paul Boag:
At least, I can…

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, you’re there, we’re talking over each other anyway. Yeah, hopefully it sounds better than when we use to do with the Skype once, because they – at least they should sound a bit better, hopefully fingers crossed.

Paul Boag:
Yeah. And I do have the advantage, so I can sit here podcasting completely naked, which is always good.

Marcus Lillington:
Oh, no that really was too much information.

Paul Boag:
Those are not true. So, we’ve got competition, Marcus, did you know?

Marcus Lillington:
No, about Sarah Parmenter? Anyone?

Paul Boag:
Yes, we’ve got new competition. Sarah has a very interesting podcast. She interviews lots of brilliant people. She has just done an interview with Cameron Moll, I believe. So that’s a really good one. Link in the show notes as we say in the trade, but also Andy Clarke and Anna Debenham, our own – very own Anna Debenham.

Marcus Lillington:
So, she got in front of the mic?

Paul Boag:
She has. Do you say all that time? We tried so hard to get her in front of the mic and she does it with Andy instead. That’s just…

Marcus Lillington:
I know.

Paul Boag:
…powerful.

Marcus Lillington:
She was positively, I’m never doing that ever in my life…

Paul Boag:
I know.

Marcus Lillington:
…if I’m doing it correctly.

Paul Boag:
So they’ve started a podcast, obviously like all of our competition now last five minutes and then they will give up, because no one’s got the commitment to their listeners that we have.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, well put.

Paul Boag:
Exactly. But if you want to listen to them for the time being and go on over to unfinished.bz and it looks like it’s a very interesting show. What’s interesting about it from my perspective is it’s not a general web design show, because those – obviously, they don’t want to be in direct competition with the show as incredible as ours.

Marcus Lillington:
This is scary.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, absolutely. So what they’ve done instead is they’re doing a discussion show based around the business aspects of web design. So that kind of running a business being a freelancer, all those kinds of stuff, which is really very interesting and I wish them the best of luck and I’m sure it’s going to be great.

Marcus Lillington:
We’ve covered that at quite a lot of length in the past, but I – if they want to go back over old stuff we’ve done, that’s fine.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, I mean, obviously everyone is playing catch-up with us. The SitePoint people have finally admitted defeat, so they’ve closed down. But it’s good that there’s new ones coming up by show, I mean seriously – it is cool because after all I’ve got nothing to listen to, which is crap. So, although that’s not true now, there is loads of good web design podcast out there. But it’s great to see more of them and Anna and Andy are both brilliant people very, very smart people and I’m sure they’ve got a lot of good stuff to say. I think they are suffering from the initial finding their feet stage at the moment. But I’m sure it’s going to – it will get better and better and more and more exciting. So, I’m looking forward to that one. It’s going to be good.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, I mean, they must be doing – they live hundreds of miles apart, I don’t know, so I would imagine that they are having to do the same thing we’re doing today.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, absolutely.

Marcus Lillington:
On every one.

Paul Boag:
Yeah. And I think Sarah’s podcast is the same. I do think, I mean, that – I mean, this is a tangent, it is more difficult when you can’t see one another it is much more difficult, especially when one of you has got a shit line that you can’t hear the other person.

Marcus Lillington:
It’s working at the moment, Paul. Fingers crossed.

Paul Boag:
And also have you noticed now, now I’ve moved location to the one place in the house that’s got signal. We haven’t got any lag now.

Marcus Lillington:
Right. I didn’t and I hadn’t noticed it before anyway, but yeah it seems to be working.

Paul Boag:
It does.

Marcus Lillington:
Fingers crossed, as I say. Still talking about it, then there was little break.

Paul Boag:
Okay. Should we talk about web design instead then?

Marcus Lillington:
We have to.

Creating mobile first responsive web design

Screen capture of the article

Even if you think you know all there is to know about responsive design, you will find something new in this post.

Paul Boag:
Alright. Come on, let’s get it over with. Okay, Marcus, our first post of the day I’ve got some bad news for you.

Marcus Lillington:
What’s that?

Paul Boag:
It’s about technology. I know how you love it when we talk tech.

Marcus Lillington:
It’s okay, I can go and do something else for a while.

Paul Boag:
No, you got to engage and learn. I’m trying to educate you Marcus. I want you to be on the cutting edge of technological development like what I’m.

Marcus Lillington:
What is it then? Tell me.

Paul Boag:
It’s about responsive web design.

Marcus Lillington:
Oh, I know about that.

Paul Boag:
Have you ever heard that before, no you don’t? No, you don’t. So, I thought that. I thought oh, I know about that and then I read the article and realized I don’t, right. So, this particular one has been suggested by, here we go, some name, I can’t pronounce. Bjarni Wark.

Marcus Lillington:
Wark?

Paul Boag:
Is that right? You reckon?

Marcus Lillington:
Wark, yeah.

Paul Boag:
Bjarni. Do I need to pronounce the B or not?

Marcus Lillington:
It might be Bjarni.

Paul Boag:
Let’s see what my computer says.

Marcus Lillington:
Go on then.

Paul Boag:
Bjarni Wark.

Marcus Lillington:
Bjarni.

Paul Boag:
Now we got.

Marcus Lillington:
Okay.

Paul Boag:
My computer is always right. You never argue with your Apple computer.

Marcus Lillington:
Doesn’t the computer always say no.

Paul Boag:
It say no. Yeah. It does. So Bjarni Wark suggested this; well I’m really glad he did, I really like it. It’s a post by Brad Frost. Have you ever met Brad Frost, Marcus?

Marcus Lillington:
The name doesn’t ring a bell. Apologies, Brad, if I have met you. But I…

Paul Boag:
So, Brad – imagine me, but over excited.

Marcus Lillington:
I think I would have remembered him.

Paul Boag:
He is a very cool guy, really good speaker. Damn him. And also just to add in so to injury, he is very clever as well and write some really good stuff and just the final kick in the testicles is the fact that he is young. So, young, talented, great speaker, very knowledgeable. I hate him with a passion that I cannot express in words. But he has written…

Marcus Lillington:
Is he tall and good looking as well?

Paul Boag:
No, he is quite short actually. But he is good looking. So, which – I’m sure he is very delighted to know that a 40 year old heterosexual middle aged man thinks he is attractive. I’m sure that goes a long way for his self esteem. There you go. So he has written a tutorial on html5rocks.com called create a mobile-first responsive web design, right. We all know how to do mobile. Sorry, we will know how to do responsive design, but do we really? I thought I did until I read Brad’s post and then I realized that actually there is still more I can learn on it. So, this is a brilliant starting point for those of you who want to learn responsive design, but it’s also great, if you think you already know what you’re doing, because there are stuff in this article that you probably don’t know. What I love about it, it’s not just an article about – when you talk about responsive design, you think designing for the small screen, don’t you? But it’s not, it’s more than that. It’s about considering the other issue surrounding context and that kind of stuff. It’s about designing for mobile or tablets and these devices are more than just small screens. There are other aspects.

So, he covers a lot nice extras. Yeah, sure, he does the basic stuff about responsive design and he takes you through, good HTML, he talks about how you should organize your CSS files with responsive design, all of that kind of stuff. But then he goes on to look other things.

For example, if you take pretty much any page on the web, it consists of primary content and then secondary stuff. So, he uses examples of an e-commerce about page, you know, the details page on the e-commerce site for an individual product. And on that page you have the main product information and then you have related products and comments and reviews and that kind of stuff. So, what he has done is he uses something called content fragments. So, he loads the primary content first, right, and then links off to separate pages for reviews and for related stuff, so secondary content.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
So, if somebody hasn’t got JavaScript enabled, all they need to do is click on those links and they go off to the – those other pages. But if they’ve got JavaScript enabled, he pulls that content in and displays as part of the page. Now you think why he has done that? Why not included all in this single HTML file? The reason being is that some devices typically mobile devices, well not exclusively are running at – on poor connections. And so, by loading those things in afterwards with JavaScript, it means you get the core information straightaway and you can stop finding the information that you want and then the additional information comes in afterwards, which I think is such a small idea and it’s very kind of reminisced of the things that we used to have to worry back in the pre-broadband days, which you remember when there were progressive JPEGs that would load gradually?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, yeah.

Paul Boag:
Yeah. It’s almost like that, but for content. And I think it’s such a great and clever idea, love it. The other thing you recognize is that – well, hang on a minute, a lot of these mobile devices, they’re telephones too and they can make telephone calls. So, one of the other things you can – he suggest in the article is mark-up telephone numbers as links with the – instead of – you know, normally if you’re setting an email you put mailto: don’t you and then the email address. Well you can put tell tel: and the telephone number and so on a mobile device you can now call that number. But better still if you’ve got a VOIP software running on your computer, something like Skype, that will use it as well. So, it has a double-whammy. So marking up telephone numbers he talks about.

He also talks about JavaScript and all kind of attitudes towards JavaScript and about how we become kind of very lazy really and if in doubt throw some jQuery at it, because jQuery is so much easier to write, and it does a lot of the heavy lifting for you. But jQuery is not a small library and where you really worried about connection, speeds and that kind of thing, there maybe jQuery is not the right way to go.

I mean, one option would be to essentially compress – oh, sorry, strip out the elements of jQuery that you’re not actually using and there he suggests some tools for doing that. But another would be to write it just as plain old JavaScript and why do we need to do everything in jQuery, especially, if you’re doing something relatively simple, JavaScript is just as good way to go. So there is that.

And then the final thing he looks at is offline access. So he looks at – well maybe – would we, you know, can we get this website to work, if there is no connection. Can we cache, can we do things locally? So, it’s a really good, really thorough look at the issue over responsive design and it shows the responsive design is so much more than small screens.

Why I’m promoting this guy? I do not know, because he speaks a lot about responsive design and the first time I heard him speak on it, he used Boagworld as an example of bad responsive design.

Marcus Lillington:
Why?

Paul Boag:
Now this was before I redesign it and he was entirely right. But do you remember my first implementation of responsive design where I hate things like comments, because I couldn’t work out to do them quickly and easily.

Marcus Lillington:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
And he slapped me over – on the risk about that…

Marcus Lillington:
Quite right into.

Paul Boag:
…and rightly so.

Marcus Lillington:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
Yes, he did. So, I’ll forgive him and we will talk about his wonderful post the check it out, I think you find it really useful, a great tutorial to get started in responsive design, but also great if you think you know everything already.

Web Design is 95% Typography

Screen capture of article

This article is a superb introduction to the world of web typography.

So, next one, we have has been suggested by somebody whose name I can pronounce, which is great because it’s not a real name. It’s typography247…

Marcus Lillington:
That’s not a real name, isn’t it?

Paul Boag:
…somebody on Twitter. That’s not a real name. But here is the real shitter, it’s written by someone whose name I can’t pronounce. Oliver…

Marcus Lillington:
Reichenstein.

Paul Boag:
Reichenstein.

Marcus Lillington:
Or it could be Reichensteen, Reichenstien. I suspect it’s Reichenstein.

Paul Boag:
So, this is where we’re going to get all typographic, right. It is a really – it’s a good post this. I mean, it’s a little preachy in that kind of oh, typographies are most important thing in the world. It’s got a long tradition that goes back 100s of years, we’re very serious kind of feel to it. But it is a great introduction to the area of web typography. The reason being is, it explains what it is, why it matters and disposal of those preconceptions that people have about online typography, the – I mean, actually the article is – was written in 2006, the things have moved on since it was written and some of the points no longer the case, because it talks about limited fonts and there we have a much bigger choice of fonts and that kind of stuff.

But it is very good, but the reason that I’m featuring it on the show really is because it is an amazing resource to get into web typography, because at the end of the article, he has got a kind of where to start resource and it’s got – let me have a look, it’s got 11 different sources on the web of some great stuff from a list of par articles to associations of typographic nature and well blah, blah, blah. So, there’s loads of stuff there and then on – in addition to that, it’s got some really great books as well. So, really good resource to get to know typography on the web. The thing I like the most about it, right, on my website as you scroll down it…

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
…oh, sorry, on my website the top of my post it says how long the article would take to read.

Marcus Lillington:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
This site has gone one step further and as you scroll down it, it pops up a little thing on the left – right hand side saying you’ve got one minute left of reading or three minutes left of reading and it’s very showy off thing.

Marcus Lillington:
It doesn’t in my browser.

Paul Boag:
Oh…

Marcus Lillington:
I thought Safari was an advanced browser.

Paul Boag:
It should do, keep going down. Scroll down it.

Marcus Lillington:
I’m, maybe I’m going too fast and it’s thinking you’re not actually reading it.

Paul Boag:
Could be.

Marcus Lillington:
I know.

Paul Boag:
Anyway.

Marcus Lillington:
That’s very intelligent.

Paul Boag:
It works for me.

Marcus Lillington:
It’s an intelligent article…

Paul Boag:
It is very intelligent.

Marcus Lillington:
… in more ways than one.

Paul Boag:
Yes. So, it’s definitely worth checking out, if you’re interested in typography and to be frank you should be interested in typography. The typography as it says in the article, it’s 95% of what the web is made up of, it’s written words. And although that is shifting I think your typography is always going to be absolutely call the readability of stuff is so, so crucial online and so it is an area that we should be getting into and we should be exploring more. So chain that article out, you will find it immensely useful and I challenge you to starting work through some of those resources and see if you can get excited about typography. I’m hugely excited about typography. Good typography makes an enormous difference. The other person you might want to check out, if you are interested in learning more about typography is Richard Rutter.

Marcus Lillington:
Indeed.

Paul Boag:
Link in the show notes, because he does some great typographic work.

Marcus Lillington:
I think three minutes left.

Paul Boag:
Perhaps it takes time to load or something.

Marcus Lillington:
Sorry to interrupt you talking about Richard. But I do need to say that…

Paul Boag:
No.

Marcus Lillington:
…this article itself is an – is a brilliant advertisement for why typographic is great, because there is no – apart from the little squiggly thing right at the bottom, that it’s just type and it looks gorgeous.

Paul Boag:
Yeah. Absolutely. I’ve got to say it is – this guy obviously really knows what he is doing and really great. It looks like a really great blog full stop is, informationarchitects.net/blog. And it’s a beautiful site actually and it really got some really good stuff on it. Lots of really good material. So, yes, definitely check that out, highly recommended, move on.

A Dao of Web Design

A screenshot of the article

Although A Dao of Web Design was written 13 years ago, it could have been written yesterday.

Paul Boag:
All right, so we come to the last grownup article anyway. Marcus has got some silly nonsense. But the last proper article of the week.

Marcus Lillington:
Which one is this one, Paul?

Paul Boag:
This is a good one, right. Imagine we are going back through time to the year 2000, right.

Marcus Lillington:
Oh, I didn’t have any grey hair then.

Paul Boag:
I know. Just take a moment, right, because this is quite remarkable, this article. This has been suggested by several people, including Amir Thompson and Justin Avery.

Marcus Lillington:
Thomas.

Paul Boag:
Thomas. I can’t even read it when it’s a bloody normal name. So, this has been suggested by lots of people, which is a testament to the article, right. And this is one that I was going to include anyway because it is absolutely brilliant article. But what makes it even more incredible is, it was written in April 2000. Now I was just trying to think what life was like in the year 2000. They were nowhere near the kind of mobile phones that we’ve got now, the Internet was a very different place, broadband wasn’t anyway near. In fact, was broadband around?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, yeah.

Paul Boag:
Yes, it was, but it was nowhere near as prominent as it – prevalent it is now.

Marcus Lillington:
I can remember lots of things about the year 2000, Paul.

Paul Boag:
Can you remember any web-related things, minor or…?

Marcus Lillington:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
Go on.

Marcus Lillington:
We had WAP on our phones…

Paul Boag:
Yeah, we did.

Marcus Lillington:
…which was always rather good.

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
And we thought IE6 was amazing …

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
…because it supported CSS, so.

Paul Boag:
Yes.

Marcus Lillington:
And I can remember, this is when we used to work in Alton, a place called Avatar Interactive…

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
…pretty Headscaped, year 2000. It’s quite a bit pretty Headscape actually.

Paul Boag:
Two years, yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
I can remember being amazed – I think we got a T1 line or something like that and watching a 10-meg file download, I don’t know, within a minute, say…

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
…and this was just the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. So that was the year 2000. And also we used to have hard drives of, I don’t know, 500-meg…

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
… in our computers and that was…

Paul Boag:
And everything was backed up on tape, wasn’t it? Do you remember the guys next door were used to back stuff up on tape, you probably didn’t – weren’t as involved with that, but – and it was just like this completely different world. Yet, A Dao of Web Design. by John Allsopp on A List Apart reads as true today as it did then. This was only issue 58 of A List Apart. I mean, now they’re on issue 367 and I just find it incredible. It’s almost prophetic in what he’s written. It could be written today. And to be honest, I think it should be required reading for anyone who is going to put anything online ever. So, I think it’s particularly relevant to designers, but also to marketers and really anybody – if you’ve got any kind of print background, read this article. So the basic premise of the post is that with every new technology, you tend to inherit from a previous technology. So, he uses the example of television and about how – when television was launched, it was radio with pictures, right.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
And you could still see that in some programs today. So, programs like The Tonight Show in America or Jonathan Ross over here where you have a band and you have a host talking to the camera and seated guests come straight from radio and the news, with someone sitting behind a desk, essentially talking at you. These were all leftover from the radio years. And – but then your technology matures and you kind of throw aside what dozen – in any long applied to that particular medium. So in television, it was like the drummers – only TV drummers had voiceovers, describing what was going on, even though you could see it because that was leftover from radio.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
But over time that went away and he then goes on and says, well, look, the same is happening from the web and the web is inheriting from print and there are some good things that we’re taking from that, but there is also some bad things. And then he starts going on about essentially letting go of pixel perfect control and allowing content to adapt to the medium that we’re in. My son has just come home, come say hello on the podcast, James.

James Boag:
Hello.

Paul Boag:
You got to come a little closer and you can say – say hello.

James Boag:
Hello.

Paul Boag:
Now this boy – you do your own YouTube videos, don’t you?

James Boag:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
So you’re as big a podcaster as I’m.

James Boag:
They’re not that good.

Paul Boag:
They’re not that good. Oh, I think they’re wonderful.

James Boag:
Oh, thank you.

Paul Boag:
What’s your user name on YouTube?

Paul Boag:
Well, why do I have to say?

Paul Boag:
So that people can subscribe.

James Boag:
Okay. The Boagboy, somebody stole my actual name.

Paul Boag:
The Boagboy. So there you go, checkout the Boagboy on YouTube and you could learn about what games do you review, Minecraft, World of Warcraft.

James Boag:
No, World of Warcraft includes Fraps, I don’t have enough I don’t have enough money – oh no, I do.

Paul Boag:
Oh, you don’t have Fraps.

James Boag:
I do have enough money for it now.

Paul Boag:
Yes.

James Boag:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
So go buy yourself Fraps. So subscribe to my son’s podcast. It’s far cooler than mine.

James Boag:
It’s not a podcast and it is not cooler than yours. You’ve got way – I think I’ve got two people subscribing.

Paul Boag:
He’s got two subscribers. While we’ve got – me and Marcus think we’ve got three. So we beat you by one.

James Boag:
Seriously, you think you’ve got three?

Marcus Lillington:
He is certainly cooler.

Paul Boag:
Yeah. Anyway, go away now. Let me do my podcast.

James Boag:
All right. Thank you. Sorry for interrupting.

Paul Boag:
No, that’s alright. You just got home from school. There we go. So, a cameo from my son. Let’s hope that it was picked up on the audio. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, the – John Allsopp’s post.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, so letting go pixel perfect control, all of this kind of stuff allowing essentially your content to define the design, I mean, it’s just – it’s responsive web design in the year 2000. And he talks about accessibility benefits and all that, it’s just a remarkable, remarkable post. And you should definitely check it out. I mean, so many of his – the things that he’s written about in this have actually been fulfilled.

So for example he talks about how in there – before long, we’re going to have legal obligations to make our sites accessible? Yes, we’ve got that. He talks about how this going to be a greater ranger of devices rendering pages on different size screens, we’ve got that. He talks about how there is going to be a broader range of DPI and that kind of thing, we’re now seeing Retina displays and stuff like that. It is an incredible article, definitely read it.

If you come from a print background especially so because it’s – it will change your thinking. It will get you to lose a lot of that baggage from the print medium and adapt to the web and the unique characteristics of the web and get quite excited about the potential that the web brings. Yes, you lose pixel perfect control, but you gain so many other things and you should stop striving to make the web like print. So brilliant post, check it out.

Okay, I think that brings us on to Marcus’s silliness, so let’s move on to that.

Father hires in game assassins to constantly kill son

Screenshot of article

Marcus’ post this week looks at a father who was so fed up with his son gaming that he hired in-game assassins to kill his sons characters.

So, Marcus, what are we – what wonderful exciting post have you got in store for us? Something, that’s both profound and is web design related, and just kind of takes us to the next level in our thinking.

Marcus Lillington:
Well, I’ve gone for a kind of – it’s not really web design, it’s like – it’s more sort of like kind of deep political type thing.

Paul Boag:
Political? Wow!

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, political commentary.

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
It’s quite serious. So…

Paul Boag:
I don’t believe you, Marcus, I’m sorry.

Marcus Lillington:
Well, it’s sort of there is a kind of computer kind of connection and this has to do with games console and gaming.

Paul Boag:
Alright, yeah – no, it’s fair enough. So is it a bit like last week you were talking about addiction to mobile devices and that kind of thing. This is…

Marcus Lillington:
It’s exactly that.

Paul Boag:
Is it really?

Marcus Lillington:
Yes.

Paul Boag:
I wonder whether it was something to do with kind of gaming addiction and that kind of stuff. You know why, Marcus, because I picked this frigging article for you. I’m pretending, but the truth is I picked the article because you were badly organized.

Marcus Lillington:
Yes. But it is quite – this did make me giggle.

Paul Boag:
I gave you a couple of alternatives, didn’t I?

Marcus Lillington:
Yes. And this one amused me.

Paul Boag:
It did me too. Go on, tell.

Marcus Lillington:
I’m going to say this is the title of the article, you don’t really much more than this. Father hires in-game assassins to constantly kills son’s character, discouraging his gaming. It is brilliant.

Paul Boag:
I just love it.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, I mean, that’s love that is?

Paul Boag:
That is. But what I don’t understand about, I mean, there are so many things I don’t understand about this article. But the one thing that really got to me was why didn’t the dad – there were so many other easier ways of dealing with this problem, because – I mean you must have – I mean, how did he find the people that…

Marcus Lillington:
This was what occurring to me, yes, exactly. So, where do I go for online assassins?

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
Is that down the pub and you have to ask the dodgiest bloke you see?

Paul Boag:
So the – so what – the premise as I understood it, it’s a little while ago I read this while you’ve just read it. But if I remember correctly, he hires people in the game to whenever his son logs in to instantly go and kill him.

Marcus Lillington:
He’s dead. Bam, every time. Bam, dead.

Paul Boag:
Oh, that would just drive you nuts, wouldn’t it?

Marcus Lillington:
Follow – so following him around wherever he’s going to be and there is always somebody there to kill you.

Paul Boag:
This is the most passive…

Marcus Lillington:
I mean, yes, that would get on my nerves.

Paul Boag:
It’s the most passive aggressive way of dealing with this problem, isn’t it really? It’s like instead of speaking to his son, I’m going to go and hire an assassin.

Marcus Lillington:
Put like that, it’s quite heavy really, isn’t it?

Paul Boag:
Yeah. It is.

Marcus Lillington:
But if I were the son, well, just go and play a different game.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, that’s what I would have done, yeah. And in fact in the end he finds out, doesn’t he? I think in the end of the article, he was basically, “well screw it, I’m still not going to get a job”.

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, this was also encourage him to get a job. Yeah, that’s right. I’m doing this because I love you; he finishes the article with.

Paul Boag:
It is – I mean, it’s a funny one, isn’t it? Because I do see – I mean this is goes back to what we were talking about last week about, are you addicted to technology and addicted to gaming? I mean …

Marcus Lillington:
I’m certainly not addicted to gaming, but yeah technology maybe.

Paul Boag:
But even – I mean, yeah, I guess some people are do get like that, because especially in some countries there is occasion – there’s stories about people dying because they haven’t eaten in North Korea and stuff like – no, North Korea – South Korea and stuff like that. But I do find – I just find it very peculiar. I don’t think I can play a game for that long.

Marcus Lillington:
Well, don’t – not eat – me…

Paul Boag:
Yeah. Talking of addiction how is the giving up smoking going?

Marcus Lillington:
That’s fine. Yeah.

Paul Boag:
Really?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, yeah.

Paul Boag:
You’re not getting withdrawals or anything like that?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, I’m – for the first few days, you kind of get the odd craving…

Paul Boag:
Right.

Marcus Lillington:
…but I don’t know, I just sort of – the reason why I gave up is not because I want – not – isn’t for kind of sort of longevity and living until I’m 95 and kind of the standard health reasons for wanting to give up there. They are kind of more immediate and kind of selfish than that. I’ve been noticing for months and months that I kind of felt tired.

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
I mean this could have been diet and alcohol as well, but I figure that it might have been to do with smoking and it really came home to me on Saturday morning when I went and played golf. The golf of course is one of the major smoking places, like a pub – outside the pub is that kind of thing.

Paul Boag:
Okay.

Marcus Lillington:
And I didn’t – obviously wasn’t smoking and I know – I sort of noticed when I was standing on the 18th tee that I felt absolutely fine…

Paul Boag:
Really?

Marcus Lillington:
… right as rain. And normally by that point I’ll be absolutely knackered, looking forward to sitting down and it was like well, that’s…

Paul Boag:
Wow!

Marcus Lillington:
…it’s sort of proven true as it were that yeah it was taking my energy away and being as old as I am, Paul, you don’t want that.

Paul Boag:
No, absolutely.

Marcus Lillington:
So that’s the reason of giving up, an immediate energy boost.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, I know, I like that. I think I might take up smoking so that I can get an energy boost. Does that?

Marcus Lillington:
Well, that’s interesting because Dan Sheerman, our lovely Dan, he – I tweeted that chocolate tastes funny, now…

Paul Boag:
Right.

Marcus Lillington:
…which it does and he said, I’m going to take up smoking so I can give up smoking, so I can give up chocolate.

Paul Boag:
I like his logic. It’s good.

Marcus Lillington:
Indeed.

Paul Boag:
It’s good solid logic. So not only have we got that joke of an article, we’re also going to get a joke of another kind to wind off the show, do you feel that you’ve shared enough of your humorous nature?

Marcus Lillington:
Actually no. I have got a joke for today to add to my wonderful article.

Paul Boag:
Oh, I’m sure everyone is really relived about that, Marcus.

Marcus Lillington:
My wonderful article. Yes, it’s a short one from Ian Lasky. From days of old…

Paul Boag:
Oh, Ian. Hello, Ian.

Marcus Lillington:
…yes, he does still – he still listens.

Paul Boag:
That he must be one of the three then?

Marcus Lillington:
Yes, one of the three, yes. Well, that makes us more popular than your son.

Paul Boag:
Yeah.

Marcus Lillington:
Here we go. One night at the dinner table my wife commented, when we were first married you took the small piece of stake and gave me the larger. Now you take the larger one and leave the smaller for me, you don’t love me anymore? Nonsense, darling, replied the husband, you just cook better now.

Paul Boag:
I think I’ve heard that one before.

Marcus Lillington:
Probably from me.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, I think I’ve heard that one. So you now, you’re just regurgitating?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, there is nothing wrong with that. I mean, we regurgitating articles in the whole show, so.

Paul Boag:
That is such a lie. I never repeat myself on the show ever.

Marcus Lillington:
No, other people’s articles.

Paul Boag:
Alright. Oh, I see. Yeah, but you don’t repeat your own stuff, do you?

Marcus Lillington:
It’s not mine. Somebody else gave me that.

Paul Boag:
Okay. Well, Ian do better. I’ve now just alienated one of our three listeners. That’s really good, I’m really proud of myself. Alright, can we end? Well, it’s probably the most painful show to record ever.

Marcus Lillington:
Let’s do that. No one else knows the trouble we’ve had.

Paul Boag:
I know.

Marcus Lillington:
We’ve got to the end.

Paul Boag:
Nobody knows the trouble – anyway I won’t start singing. What I do want to do is I want to thank everyone that contributed the articles this week, it’s really appreciated. Thank you so much. Please keep them coming guys, article suggestions are always welcome. Don’t just pimp your own articles now, mind, because I know what you’re like. Send me stuff you think is really cool. You can either email me at [email protected] or you can go to boagworld.com/season/5 or alternatively just tweet them to me at @boagworld. At @?

Marcus Lillington:
At @ yes.

Paul Boag:
That’s an imperial walker in Star Wars.

Marcus Lillington:
Is it?

Paul Boag:
Yeah, I bet you didn’t know that. On Empire Strikes Back those big four legged kind of things that walk across Hoth the ice planet?

Marcus Lillington:
Yeah, I remember the thing, they wire up their legs.

Paul Boag:
Yeah, they are At-Ats.

Marcus Lillington:
Oh right. No, I didn’t know that.

Paul Boag:
There you go. You’ve learned something new today. All right, thank you very much for listening and we talk to you again next week.

Marcus Lillington:
Bye.

“Ninja” image courtesy of Bigstock.com

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